Glass and Mirrors

Since I couldn't bring myself to watch even a second of the RNC, I took a nap, and this is the result.

Donald Trump invited me to lunch. I took Laurie, an old high school chum, since he told me to bring a guest.

His hair was like a normal person’s. He walked us through his house. It was fun, it was made of glass and mirrors. Some of the rooms had leather furniture. One had bookcases filled with stuff like Rilke, The Call of the Wild, Of Mice and Men, Edgar Allan Poe and a first edition of The Picture of Dorian Gray.

I asked him “Does someone stock these shelves for you, or do you pick them out yourself?”

I thought this was a job I might like.

All he did was ask back, “What do you think?” So I countered “Do you actually read them?” and he got all Socratic again.

Crafty, that one.

Eventually we sat on the leather furniture. There was never any lunch. I got bored and took a nap. (Yes, in my dreams I nap; I like it that much.)

When I woke up, he and Laurie were making out on the settee so I got up and started wandering around on my own. (Sorry, Laurie.)

The place was a maze. I got lost several times. Eventually, like at Six Flags Over Georgia, I wound up in a themed gift shop. I was about to buy a tie for my dad - it was red, white and blue, Donald

on a Harley Davidson silk screened in the fat part of the tie, his normal hair blowing back in the breeze - when Trump grabbed my hand and said, “Wait. I have something for you.”

He led me to another room and gave me gifts. It was like he knew me. A framed map of the world, a leather bound travel journal, and something else, I can’t remember. He looked at Laurie and said, “Sorry, I don’t have anything for you.” She shrugged and looked out a window, or into a mirror, it was hard to tell in that place.

I said, “You know I’m not going to vote for you, right?”

He winked and said, "Bing bing, bong bong, bing bing bing.'"