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What Exactly is a Bad Girlfriend?

An internet search of “famous bad girlfriends” nets some frustrating reading. Looking for a good time on a Saturday night, I waded my way through half a dozen poorly edited, blandly sexist articles on the topic. When I finally landed on “The 19 Worst Girlfriends in History (On a Scale of One to Lorena Bobbitt)” I thought, at the very least, it would be funny.

But not really, no. According to prevailing stupidity, “bad girlfriend” equals “mentally ill or inherently evil person who happens to be a woman.” You know. Golddiggers. Cheaters. Thieves. You’re a bad girlfriend if you burn down your abusive boyfriend’s house or cut off your abusive husband’s penis. If you dare to conquer powerful men via seduction, or originate original sin, you too can make it to the Top 19.

I've been made aware, of course, the other kind of bad girlfriend. The kind who is not a good friend to her girlfriends.

But I blog here before you asking that you join my bandwagon and embrace a new definition of bad girlfriend for the 21st Century Woman...

Or at least, understand that for me, being a bad girlfriend is about being bad at being a girlfriend. Needing a lot of alone time. Cringing at the words “cuddle,” “snuggle,” and “spoon.” Saying, “It’s okay, you don’t have to sleep over,” when you actually mean, “No, really. Don’t sleep over.” Breaking up with a guy, even if he’s a really nice guy, because … well … you don’t really know why. You don’t really have to have a reason. You just don’t.

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