New Year's Resolutions Are For Chumps

At my January writer's group meeting, we shared the poems we'd written on the prompt "transitions," gave each other feedback, drank coffee and ate breakfast sandwiches. Since a topic like "transitions" inspires a whole lot more than poetry, lively conversation ensued. People had new jobs, new dogs, houses on the market, and car trunks full of crap destined for Goodwill.

Feeling like I had to contribute something, I suddenly blurted, "I'm getting rid of my television!"

It was a show-stopping moment for us all.

Since it is my personal philosophy that New Year's Resolutions are for chumps (do you really think you can lose 50 pounds by Spring Break? Really? With that bag of discount Christmas candy under the bag of kale in your shopping cart? Really?), I don't make resolutions. Every January, I make a To Do List. It's just a clean copy of the To Do List that I'm always working on, so it doesn't make me a chump.

1. Go to the gym more.

2. Write more.

3. Read More.

4. Meditate more.

5. File your taxes before April 14.

6. Stop binge eating.

7. Get a mammogram.

8. Stop binge watching every new series that comes out on Netflix.

9. Get out more.

10. Start a blog.

Suddenly, it all seemed possible if I just got rid of my television.

"Who's got a pickup? Are you free? Who's with me?"

An hour later, my television, stereo, woofer, tweeters, and about 17 pounds of wire were loaded in the back of Al's GMC.

At the dropoff behind the nearest Goodwill store, the clerk eyed me suspiciously. "This TV work?"

"Yeah, it works. It works great! See, I taped the remote control and all the wires to the back, it's ready to go. Same with the stereo."

He looked me up and down. "Why you get rid of it then?"

"I just don't need it anymore."

"Why'on't you sell it?"

"I just want to get rid of it."

"Why'on't you give it away?"

"Um, I think that's what I'm doing..."

Now, the table on which the TV once stood hosts candles and crystals, fat and skinny Buddhas alike, reminding me to meditate. (I haven't actually meditated in front of it, but it sure looks like a great place to do so.)

And I haven't been to the gym, gotten a mammogram, or even FOUND the file where I keep my tax documents. I'm not reading and writing as much as I thought I would, and even without the drone of a television, I fall asleep on the couch more often than I get out.

But. I DID start this blog. They say that's what published writers do. They blog. It feels a little chumpy, but here I am. Blogging.